“bittersweet-love”

October 2010 November 2010

There're many reasons that led to a break-up but out of 10 relationship, 7 broke up because of a word, 'ASSUMPTION'!

He didnt reply me, he must be msging other girls
He's late for our meeting, I bet he woke up late as he dont think meeting me is important
He say he love me, but i think he loves my body more than me

She say she loves me but why is she flirting with guys, maybe i'm just a subsitute
She loves my money more than me
She didnt answer my call, is she chit chatting with others or maybe i'm just irritating.

All this are questions that comes into our mind every once in a while. All this thoughts just come without us knowing. & all this are the asumption i'm talking about.

It is human nature to assume things & to continue believing in our own assumption, to us, we think we are right but in fact 'assumption KILLS'! Be it in a family love, friendship or BGR, assumption can cause cracks in all this relationship.

Let me share something about myself with you.
(ps: its all in the past & thanks god, i've changed  :D)

Like any other humans, i assume things. In fact, i assume alot alot of things. When my boyfriend doesnt reply my message within 10mins, i flare up. I think to myself & i started assuming. Maybe he finds me irritating. Maybe he doesn't love me. These assumption causes us to drift apart. No matter what he says, i refuse to believe thinking that his words is all fake. We started meeting lesser and lesser and each time we meet, we end up quarrelling. Soon, i told him let's give each other a break, lets just cool down.

I'm really lucky. During the 1 week break, one of my friend told me something. Something that changes my life, my opinion and my point of view. He told me that he once love a girl deeply but they broke up because of his assumption that the girl doesn't love him and is just going after his money. When they girl requested for a break up, she told him, "I leave not because there's no more feelings. I leave because there's no more trust from you to me". When she left, she gave back everything my friend bought for her. Of cause my friend is devastate but this incident make him realise that in love, you've to learn to trust.

After hearing the story, i started thinking to myself. Did my bf say he doesnt love me anymore? NO! Did he leave me alone & did i saw him with other girls? NO! So everything is my own assumption.

GIRLS/GUYS, we assume things when we're lack of confidence. When fear conquer us, when fear conquer LOVE! When we are afraid, we start to imagine, to assume things that didnt and might not happen. Our attitude changes together with the losing faith we have, together with the assumption we create. We became petty, stubborn and unreasonable because we believe in our assumption. When we quarrel, we quarrel base on our assumption. Of cause the other half will defend themselves as they didnt do it. But the quarrels will never get better as we are so obsess in our own world or assumption that our mind block out everything the other half say. We give ourself reasons to make us feel better & out of all the reasons we gave, we forgotten to ask ourself one question & that is, "DO I LOVE HIM/HER?"

In the start, its because of this word, LOVE, that lead you to her or you to him. The moment we decided to start something with a complete stranger, We had already given our heart to them. & in our heart, trust exists. Its never easy for two people to meet and to be together. Its the bond they have that eventually creates a relationship between the two person.

If you have the courage to meet a stranger, get to him/her better & started a bond with him/her then why cant you choose to trust them?

Be it a guy or a girl, if they really dont love you, they will end the relationship no matter how hard you try to keep it. But if they really love you and you kept pushing them away with all the tiny yet mighty assumption, one day, they will drop your hand & you will lose the bond you try so hard to create.

I always tell ppl, ' FEEL WITH YOUR HEART & WORK WITH YOUR MIND'. In short, follow your heart. If you love him/her, then love with all your heart. A love without trust is worst than secreting loving someone.


Next time you met the situation whereby you guys started quarrelling due to some assumptions, my advice to you is:

- Keep quiet & let him/her finish what they got to say
- Listen attentively
- Ask yourself, in your heart, if you still love him/her. If you still do than,
- Tell her, "can i talk now" before you start to talk & clear all doubts or misunderstanding with her in a calm tone

However, if you find that you can no longer tolerate his/her nosenses and hope to end it, just tell them, 'all this are your assumption & since there's no more trust, there can be no love'

People, i hope you can clear your misunderstanding & move on ahead. Its hard not to have assumption but you can control and limit your assumption. If i can do it, so can you. Trust yourself & always remember, WHEN THERE'S NO MORE TRUST, THERE'S NO MORE LOVE !



Take care,
bitter sweet(:

;-) Sorry people, due to some activation of nuffang prob, I've to post this smiley face. Stay tune for next week topic.


Thank you !