“bittersweet-love”

October 2010 November 2010

There're many reasons that led to a break-up but out of 10 relationship, 7 broke up because of a word, 'ASSUMPTION'!

He didnt reply me, he must be msging other girls
He's late for our meeting, I bet he woke up late as he dont think meeting me is important
He say he love me, but i think he loves my body more than me

She say she loves me but why is she flirting with guys, maybe i'm just a subsitute
She loves my money more than me
She didnt answer my call, is she chit chatting with others or maybe i'm just irritating.

All this are questions that comes into our mind every once in a while. All this thoughts just come without us knowing. & all this are the asumption i'm talking about.

It is human nature to assume things & to continue believing in our own assumption, to us, we think we are right but in fact 'assumption KILLS'! Be it in a family love, friendship or BGR, assumption can cause cracks in all this relationship.

Let me share something about myself with you.
(ps: its all in the past & thanks god, i've changed  :D)

Like any other humans, i assume things. In fact, i assume alot alot of things. When my boyfriend doesnt reply my message within 10mins, i flare up. I think to myself & i started assuming. Maybe he finds me irritating. Maybe he doesn't love me. These assumption causes us to drift apart. No matter what he says, i refuse to believe thinking that his words is all fake. We started meeting lesser and lesser and each time we meet, we end up quarrelling. Soon, i told him let's give each other a break, lets just cool down.

I'm really lucky. During the 1 week break, one of my friend told me something. Something that changes my life, my opinion and my point of view. He told me that he once love a girl deeply but they broke up because of his assumption that the girl doesn't love him and is just going after his money. When they girl requested for a break up, she told him, "I leave not because there's no more feelings. I leave because there's no more trust from you to me". When she left, she gave back everything my friend bought for her. Of cause my friend is devastate but this incident make him realise that in love, you've to learn to trust.

After hearing the story, i started thinking to myself. Did my bf say he doesnt love me anymore? NO! Did he leave me alone & did i saw him with other girls? NO! So everything is my own assumption.

GIRLS/GUYS, we assume things when we're lack of confidence. When fear conquer us, when fear conquer LOVE! When we are afraid, we start to imagine, to assume things that didnt and might not happen. Our attitude changes together with the losing faith we have, together with the assumption we create. We became petty, stubborn and unreasonable because we believe in our assumption. When we quarrel, we quarrel base on our assumption. Of cause the other half will defend themselves as they didnt do it. But the quarrels will never get better as we are so obsess in our own world or assumption that our mind block out everything the other half say. We give ourself reasons to make us feel better & out of all the reasons we gave, we forgotten to ask ourself one question & that is, "DO I LOVE HIM/HER?"

In the start, its because of this word, LOVE, that lead you to her or you to him. The moment we decided to start something with a complete stranger, We had already given our heart to them. & in our heart, trust exists. Its never easy for two people to meet and to be together. Its the bond they have that eventually creates a relationship between the two person.

If you have the courage to meet a stranger, get to him/her better & started a bond with him/her then why cant you choose to trust them?

Be it a guy or a girl, if they really dont love you, they will end the relationship no matter how hard you try to keep it. But if they really love you and you kept pushing them away with all the tiny yet mighty assumption, one day, they will drop your hand & you will lose the bond you try so hard to create.

I always tell ppl, ' FEEL WITH YOUR HEART & WORK WITH YOUR MIND'. In short, follow your heart. If you love him/her, then love with all your heart. A love without trust is worst than secreting loving someone.


Next time you met the situation whereby you guys started quarrelling due to some assumptions, my advice to you is:

- Keep quiet & let him/her finish what they got to say
- Listen attentively
- Ask yourself, in your heart, if you still love him/her. If you still do than,
- Tell her, "can i talk now" before you start to talk & clear all doubts or misunderstanding with her in a calm tone

However, if you find that you can no longer tolerate his/her nosenses and hope to end it, just tell them, 'all this are your assumption & since there's no more trust, there can be no love'

People, i hope you can clear your misunderstanding & move on ahead. Its hard not to have assumption but you can control and limit your assumption. If i can do it, so can you. Trust yourself & always remember, WHEN THERE'S NO MORE TRUST, THERE'S NO MORE LOVE !



Take care,
bitter sweet(:

;-) Sorry people, due to some activation of nuffang prob, I've to post this smiley face. Stay tune for next week topic.


Thank you !

Hello, readers(: !


Kindly help me think of the next week topic. What're some

questions in your mind, What're some problems you have & What

would you like to know?



post the question in the tagbox and I'll pick one as the next week topic ! thanks people



love,
bittersweet-love

In a relationship, its not always the guy that has the say, sometimes its the girl. There's definitely no right or wrong to who has the say. The only question is, which is more appropriate. This link down to what I'm going to talk about today, big girl;small man or big man;small girl !


Big girl; small man

The scenario of a big girl; small man relationship;

• girl decides everything from what to eat to where can you go
• during quarrels, girl say shut up, walk away and feel nothing while guys feel sad over what happen
• girl sometimes insists to pay & refuse to accept money from guy
• guy initiate an outing but girl decide if the outing is OK or should be cancel

Big man; small girl

• guy decides everything from what to eat to what you can wear
• during quarrels, girl shut up, head down & sob while guys feel nothing and just keep scolding the girl
• guy pay for everything from food to clothing
• girl initiate an outing but guydecide if the outing is OK or should be cancel

There's so many so many other factors and scenario but my point here is not to state out all the scenario. The purpose of this post is to help guys and girls realise their position in the relationship and how should they react or change to make the relationship long-lasting.



GUY

All guys are full of pride, they like receiving presents but they hate it when ppl call them 'small man'. Guys are all independent creatures & they like to roam about. Don't restrict a guy, in fact, NEVER RESTRICT THEM! Sometimes a girl choose to pay for food and movie and refuse to accept the money their boyfriend gave for his share. Yes, you did it out of love, afraid that he might not have enough money for himself, afraid that he might starve. But NO, you don't understand that what you did is wrong.

When a guy give you money for his share, accept it. refusing to accept just shows that you look down on him. In fact, as time goes by, he feels inferior. Guys are really smart creatures. They will only say and do something which is within their ability. So next time a guy say, 'lets have buffet', you say, 'OKAY'!

Its is not a MUST for a guy to pay for his girlfriend. So girls, don't take it for granted if you boyfriend pay for you. They did it because they are being a nice gentleman. In a relationship, money should not be a subject. It is always best for couples to give in and pay at different time. By this, i meant, if your boyfriend pay for dinner then maybe the girl can pay for the movie. Its a vice versa thing.


GIRLS

yes, we love presents but that doesn't mean we are materialistic. We don't need to have a LV bag or a Mango dress. Presents means sincere to us. In another word, make something yourself ! guys and girls are very different when it comes to present. girls receive a present & she thinks about the process of how the guy get the present. But guy, they receive a present and only see the end product. Thats the differences between man & woman !

Girls dont mind being a 'small woman'. In fact, if we can would like to remain a small woman. Girls really like it when a guy behave like a man. When i say man, i mean, he makes decision/protect us girl & stay cool when things happen. They only time we become big woman is when we think that the guy is incapable of protecting himself.

SO GUYS, GET THE FACTS! ACT LIKE A MAN & YOU WILL WIN YOUR LADY.
& GIRLS, GET THE FACTS! STOP ACTING TOUGH, BE A SMALL LADY TO YOUR BIG MAN(:

tattas, hope i make sense in this post :D


that's all,
love,
bittersweet

In order to get along well, couples, you have to master the technique of giving in and taking.

 [MAN/MEN]

• Our mindset is changing every single minute & our favourite phrase is, 'NO! you don't understand'.

We smile & talk to cute guys even when we are attached.

• We complain about our figure & we take hours to choose our clothing's.

• We cry and we throw tantrum and we just leave you guys behind.

Crying due to sympathy

'LEARN TO LOVE IN ORDER TO RECEIVE LOVE'

1. Love is blind
2. Love is giving in
3. Love is patient
4. Love is kind
5. Love is not boastful

• (a) is he always on your mind or (b) do you only think of him when you have nothing to do
• (a) when he playing with a girl, do you feel angry (b) sad or  (c) jealous
• (a) if he is not around, do you search for him or (b) will you ask his friend what happen
• (a) when he feels sad, do you feel sad too or (b) you asking him what happen
• (a) when he say HI to you, do you smile and say nothing or (b) you say hi back immediately