the ugly truth

ASSUMPTION

2010-11-05T04:58:00.000-07:00

There're many reasons that led to a break-up but out of 10 relationship, 7 broke up because of a word, 'ASSUMPTION'!

He didnt reply me, he must be msging other girls
He's late for our meeting, I bet he woke up late as he dont think meeting me is important
He say he love me, but i think he loves my body more than me

She say she loves me but why is she flirting with guys, maybe i'm just a subsitute
She loves my money more than me
She didnt answer my call, is she chit chatting with others or maybe i'm just irritating.

All this are questions that comes into our mind every once in a while. All this thoughts just come without us knowing. & all this are the asumption i'm talking about.

It is human nature to assume things & to continue believing in our own assumption, to us, we think we are right but in fact 'assumption KILLS'! Be it in a family love, friendship or BGR, assumption can cause cracks in all this relationship.

Let me share something about myself with you.
(ps: its all in the past & thanks god, i've changed :D)

Like any other humans, i assume things. In fact, i assume alot alot of things. When my boyfriend doesnt reply my message within 10mins, i flare up. I think to myself & i started assuming. Maybe he finds me irritating. Maybe he doesn't love me. These assumption causes us to drift apart. No matter what he says, i refuse to believe thinking that his words is all fake. We started meeting lesser and lesser and each time we meet, we end up quarrelling. Soon, i told him let's give each other a break, lets just cool down.

I'm really lucky. During the 1 week break, one of my friend told me something. Something that changes my life, my opinion and my point of view. He told me that he once love a girl deeply but they broke up because of his assumption that the girl doesn't love him and is just going after his money. When they girl requested for a break up, she told him, "I leave not because there's no more feelings. I leave because there's no more trust from you to me". When she left, she gave back everything my friend bought for her. Of cause my friend is devastate but this incident make him realise that in love, you've to learn to trust.

After hearing the story, i started thinking to myself. Did my bf say he doesnt love me anymore? NO! Did he leave me alone & did i saw him with other girls? NO! So everything is my own assumption.

GIRLS/GUYS, we assume things when we're lack of confidence. When fear conquer us, when fear conquer LOVE! When we are afraid, we start to imagine, to assume things that didnt and might not happen. Our attitude changes together with the losing faith we have, together with the assumption we create. We became petty, stubborn and unreasonable because we believe in our assumption. When we quarrel, we quarrel base on our assumption. Of cause the other half will defend themselves as they didnt do it. But the quarrels will never get better as we are so obsess in our own world or assumption that our mind block out everything the other half say. We give ourself reasons to make us feel better & out of all the reasons we gave, we forgotten to ask ourself one question & that is, "DO I LOVE HIM/HER?"

In the start, its because of this word, LOVE, that lead you to her or you to him. The moment we decided to start something with a complete stranger, We had already given our heart to them. & in our heart, trust exists. Its never easy for two people to meet and to be together. Its the bond they have that eventually creates a relationship between the two person.

If you have the courage to meet a stranger, get to him/her better & started a bond with him/her then why cant you choose to trust them?

Be it a guy or a girl, if they really dont love you, they will end the relationship no matter how hard you try to keep it. But if they really love you and you kept pushing them away with all the tiny yet mighty assumption, one day, they will drop your hand & you will lose the bond you try so hard to create.

I always tell ppl, ' FEEL WITH YOUR HEART & WORK WITH YOUR MIND'. In short, follow your heart. If you love him/her, then love with all your heart. A love without trust is worst than secreting loving someone.

Next time you met the situation whereby you guys started quarrelling due to some assumptions, my advice to you is:

- Keep quiet & let him/her finish what they got to say
- Listen attentively
- Ask yourself, in your heart, if you still love him/her. If you still do than,
- Tell her, "can i talk now" before you start to talk & clear all doubts or misunderstanding with her in a calm tone

However, if you find that you can no longer tolerate his/her nosenses and hope to end it, just tell them, 'all this are your assumption & since there's no more trust, there can be no love'

People, i hope you can clear your misunderstanding & move on ahead. Its hard not to have assumption but you can control and limit your assumption. If i can do it, so can you. Trust yourself & always remember, WHEN THERE'S NO MORE TRUST, THERE'S NO MORE LOVE !

Take care,
bitter sweet(:

for nuffang

2010-11-01T06:12:00.001-07:00

;-) Sorry people, due to some activation of nuffang prob, I've to post this smiley face. Stay tune for next week topic.

Thank you !

next week topic

2010-10-31T08:01:00.000-07:00

Hello, readers(: !

Kindly help me think of the next week topic. What're some

questions in your mind, What're some problems you have & What

would you like to know?

post the question in the tagbox and I'll pick one as the next week topic ! thanks people

love,
bittersweet-love

Big girl;small man / Big man;small girl

2010-10-31T07:55:00.000-07:00

In a relationship, its not always the guy that has the say, sometimes its the girl. There's definitely no right or wrong to who has the say. The only question is, which is more appropriate. This link down to what I'm going to talk about today, big girl;small man or big man;small girl !

Big girl; small man

The scenario of a big girl; small man relationship;

girl decides everything from what to eat to where can you go
during quarrels, girl say shut up, walk away and feel nothing while guys feel sad over what happen
girl sometimes insists to pay & refuse to accept money from guy
guy initiate an outing but girl decide if the outing is OK or should be cancel

Big man; small girl

guy decides everything from what to eat to what you can wear
during quarrels, girl shut up, head down & sob while guys feel nothing and just keep scolding the girl
guy pay for everything from food to clothing
girl initiate an outing but guydecide if the outing is OK or should be cancel

There's so many so many other factors and scenario but my point here is not to state out all the scenario. The purpose of this post is to help guys and girls realise their position in the relationship and how should they react or change to make the relationship long-lasting.

GUY

All guys are full of pride, they like receiving presents but they hate it when ppl call them 'small man'. Guys are all independent creatures & they like to roam about. Don't restrict a guy, in fact, NEVER RESTRICT THEM! Sometimes a girl choose to pay for food and movie and refuse to accept the money their boyfriend gave for his share. Yes, you did it out of love, afraid that he might not have enough money for himself, afraid that he might starve. But NO, you don't understand that what you did is wrong.

When a guy give you money for his share, accept it. refusing to accept just shows that you look down on him. In fact, as time goes by, he feels inferior. Guys are really smart creatures. They will only say and do something which is within their ability. So next time a guy say, 'lets have buffet', you say, 'OKAY'!

Its is not a MUST for a guy to pay for his girlfriend. So girls, don't take it for granted if you boyfriend pay for you. They did it because they are being a nice gentleman. In a relationship, money should not be a subject. It is always best for couples to give in and pay at different time. By this, i meant, if your boyfriend pay for dinner then maybe the girl can pay for the movie. Its a vice versa thing.

GIRLS

yes, we love presents but that doesn't mean we are materialistic. We don't need to have a LV bag or a Mango dress. Presents means sincere to us. In another word, make something yourself ! guys and girls are very different when it comes to present. girls receive a present & she thinks about the process of how the guy get the present. But guy, they receive a present and only see the end product. Thats the differences between man & woman !

Girls dont mind being a 'small woman'. In fact, if we can would like to remain a small woman. Girls really like it when a guy behave like a man. When i say man, i mean, he makes decision/protect us girl & stay cool when things happen. They only time we become big woman is when we think that the guy is incapable of protecting himself.

SO GUYS, GET THE FACTS! ACT LIKE A MAN & YOU WILL WIN YOUR LADY.
& GIRLS, GET THE FACTS! STOP ACTING TOUGH, BE A SMALL LADY TO YOUR BIG MAN(:

tattas, hope i make sense in this post :D

that's all,
love,
bittersweet

In order to get along well, couples, you have to master the technique of giving in and taking.

short note for men on women

2010-10-23T07:42:00.000-07:00

[MAN/MEN]

To men, we, 'women' are extraordinary weird creatures.

Our mindset is changing every single minute & our favourite phrase is, 'NO! you don't understand'.

We smile & talk to cute guys even when we are attached.

We complain about our figure & we take hours to choose our clothing's.

We cry and we throw tantrum and we just leave you guys behind.

Crying due to sympathy

Crying due to heartbroken

To men, we, 'women' did all this to catch your attention. Stubborn, Princess & Selfish is what men sometimes says behind our back when they do their men's talk.

But what you see is only the surface & because of your assumption that we have some stubborn selfish princess attidude, you decided to ignore and let us cool down. & this is where things went terrible wrong.

To all men, read carefully.

Women IS hard to understand & its impossible for you to understand us. All you have to do is to show us the love you have for us and our mindset will change to suit you.

When we say, 'NO! you don't understand.', we are not really asking you to teach us what to do. All we wanted was for you to listen & show us some concern.

Smiling & talking to cute guys is what all women do but as women, we know that all the smiling and talking are just part of entertaining & in our heart, THERE'S STILL ONLY YOU!

We complain about our figure & take hours to choose our clothing's & there's only ONE REASON. Its basically cause we love you and cares about our image in front of you. To us, we worry & we think, 'what if i bump into your friend?' Being women, we think a lot and being able to make you proud, to be the perfect girl is all it matters.

DO women cry often? The answer is NO! We might cry when we are watching movies or when we listen to sad stories but the tears we dripped is out of sympathy. Women cry for a man only when she is terribly hurt. Tears cant be controlled & who would like to shed tears in public being a laughing stock? NO WAY! we do have pride. We cry when we're heartbroken, we throw tantrum when we tried explaining to you yet you think its us being unreasonable or over reacting & lastly, we just leave you guys behind because we don't know how to face you. Not wanting to ruin the relatioship tell us to leave and face you again when we are in our 'perfect state'.

GUYS/MAN/MEN, please always see girls as a whole. We might be complicated but as long as you use your heart to feel, you will see the true side of us. Don't scold us when we cry, keep quiet and just hug us tightly. When we complain about our figures, dont say we lack of confidents or say we're already perfect. Just hold our hand and tell us, we're perfect to you.

women understand men by time & by seeing but in order for a men to understand a woman, he have to follow a golden word, 'FEEL'

Alright, i hope couples out there, ALL THE BEST!

love,

bittersweet-love

2010-10-23T07:08:00.001-07:00

'LEARN TO LOVE IN ORDER TO RECEIVE LOVE'

Topic 1: What is love

2010-10-21T06:30:00.000-07:00

'WHAT IS LOVE'

This is the most difficult question in the world as different people have different definition. Some common definition are:

Love is blind
Love is giving in
Love is patient
Love is kind
Love is not boastful

There are much more definition of love but before we begin, i would like to state a few different types of love.

. Friendship love - love and bonds between friends, helping each other when in need.

. Family love - bond tied together by blood. Love and Concern wanting nothing in return.

. Childhood love - Innocent & pure, thinking only about the present and live as day passes by.

. Puppy love - Infatuation which causes fast heartbeat & perspiring profusely

. Marrige love - Love that think of the future, to create a family together, a huge responsibility

. True love - Doesnt matter if 2 party stays together. As long as the heart link & each other is happy its all that matter.

Now, yourself this question, 'What is love to me'.

Love is never heart beating fast or perspiring profusely. In fact when your heart beat faster and you start to perspire profusely, you are in a state of infatuation.

Infatuation means 'short term affection to someone' & it happens when you are attracted to him/her by the look, certain actions or a word. Infatuation last from day to as long as years. In another words, the love of your life might be just an infatuation.

To me, love is quarrelling & discussing. Is a relationship without any quarrel consider long-lasting? The answer is NO! Quarrels happens when 2 party have different opinion & in love what matter most is to BE YOURSELF WITH NO PRETENTIOUS. Giving in will only cause the relationship to worsen. By this, i dont mean that you should not give in to each other. What i meant is that giving in is necessary when it comes to small problems like, 'what should we eat for dinner' / 'what movie to watch' or 'where to go'. However when it comes to important problems which have to do with your beliefs, dignity and philosophy it is best to talk it out and this is when discuss comes in.

Discussion in love means solving ! You need 2 hand to make a clap. If the relationship is ruled by an individual, is it still love & will you still gain happiness in a relationship whereby you have no said? I seriously doubt so.

Guys/Girls, before you begin in a relationship, ask yourself carefully if this is love & measure it with the 'in love' factor below:

(a) is he always on your mind or (b) do you only think of him when you have nothing to do
(a) when he playing with a girl, do you feel angry (b) sad or (c) jealous
(a) if he is not around, do you search for him or (b) will you ask his friend what happen
(a) when he feels sad, do you feel sad too or (b) you asking him what happen
(a) when he say HI to you, do you smile and say nothing or (b) you say hi back immediately

asnwer this 5 questions truefully & it might help you answer the question to your heart.

If you have any problems, just ask me :D I will definitely try my best to help you solve it.

love,

bittersweet-love

The start

2010-10-21T03:13:00.000-07:00

Hello. The blog is name 'bittersweet-love' as it will be talking about the hurt, the happiness and the ending of every relationship. Some people define love with eating chocolate, BITTER at first however it turn SWEET. While some define love as hot chocolate, so tempting to try, so sweet that indulge illusion, & slowly the temptation fade and illusion became reality. At this point of time, people leave, happiness die and tears dry.

Many people yearn for true love, soul mate yet how many of them truly find it. What is love? How do you know you are in love? Does he/she love me? All these are questions being asked worldwide. People might be of different nationalities, different races, different cultures, different personalities but these questions are all bits and pieces of love. Whether you are in a relationship or not, you will ask these questions. Maybe you don't ask out loud but deep down in your heart, you wonder.

True love?
Hand in Hand till the end of the world

Teenage Love
Tears/Laughter & Mistakes

Childhood love
Pure/Sweet & Innocent